dun dun DUN
Joined on 10/17/05
Posted by Cosmoseth - April 28th, 2010
Best of luck!
OH MAI GAWAD
(Oh my God)
ROBOT TIM GLITCH:The bosses are too easy because rather than moving wherever they want(your other games)They follow you so It's easy to corner them and win.The tank and the robot can't hurt you if they're cornered.
Welcome TO!!!!Autotuned Old Man Rambles!Episode 1!!!Of a 3000 part series....caaaaalled.....Autotuned Old Man Rambles! Actually I think it was a 2007 part series.....they didn't really tell me the exact number of episodes!They just told me to go in front of the speaker....and start talking!I'm gonna start you off with a story that happened in 1959.It was 1958!WAIT I WAS JUST KIDDING round the fact.....that I wanted to have some cereal....so I made myself.....SOME TO-O-OAST!I set the toaster to.......3......or was it 4.........Actually I think it was Fi-i-ive!SO ANYWAY,I set the toaster to 2,and put in two pieces...of WHEAT BREAD.I WAITED 5 MINUTES!!! OOOOOOONE! TWOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEE! FOOOOOOOOOOOOO0000000UR!*GASP* FIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEVE! DING!And THE TOAST POPPED UP! <wheeze>but holy smokes!</wheeze>THE TOAST WA-AS BHUUUUUUURNED!So I put in another one,and set it to a lower setting!6 I BELIEVE IT WAS!!!!THEN I WAITED......3 MINUTES!!! OOOOOONE! 2! Thr3333333 MINUTES!Ding.Toast pops up.But this time it wasn't cooked at all!So I just decided to have some ceeeeereal! I got the cereal......and poured myself,come cheerios. But....DANG IT!they FELL ALL OVER THE FLOOR! So I had no choice....but to pick up.....ALL THE CHEERIOS.....ONE BY ONE:D ONE CHEERIO!TWOOOOOOOOOO CHEERIO!THREEEEE CHEERIO!FOOUR CHEERIO!NO WAIT!They were bran flakes!!!!!1 bran flake!2 bran flake!3 bran flake!4 bran flake!5 bran flake!6 bran flake!Seeeee-viiiiin bran flake!By this time I was up to 8 braaaaaaan flake!And I was almost a quarter.....of the way there.10 braaaaa-nooo wait! I almost skipped 9 bran flake!9 bran flake!te-e-en bran flake!ELEVEN!Bran flake!12 cheerio....twee-ee-ee!Umm....eh, THIRTEEN BRAN FLAKE!I was down to 13....and at 12!12 bran flake!14 bran flake!15 bran flake!SIX....T33N....<quiet>braaan flake.seventeen bran flake.18....bran flake.</quiet>NIIIIIIIINE.....TEEEEN BRAN FLAKE!TWENTY B RAN FLA-A-AKE!I WAS UP TO 20....and STI-I-IL COUNTING!umm...22 bran flake.........Twenty...fi-i-ive bran flake......I think I dropped one at 21......then I went back to 20!!!!bran flake........23 bran flake.24 BRAN FLAKE!25....bran...flake.26 BRAN FLAKE!TWENTYSEVEN BRAN FLAKE!BY this tiiiiime I was counting by twoooooooooooooooooz!30 BRAN FLAKE!.....oh......32..bran flake.I was counting by 2's so It was hard to pick both up with my small haaaaaands!My haaaaands were very smalll at the tiiiiieeeeeme!Wich was why whenever I tried to open a door,I used.....both hands!THIS WAS HARD BECAUSE I ONLY HAAAAAD ONE HAAAAND AT THE TIIIIIME.....due to the BLACK PLAGUE!Why do they call it the black plauge anyway?WHAT MAKES THE COLOR BLACK?!?!?MORE PLAGUEING THAN the coooolour....RED....Or Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!
0r greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!My favorite color is........bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu e !Or yeeee-low!Wihch,why,they make the color GR33n!Green like THE PA-AST!GREEEEEEN LIKE a TREEEEEEEEEEEEE!GrEEEEEEN LIKE STEWAGE!GREEEN LIKE THE SKY AFTER AN ALIEN APOCALYPSE!GREEN like an exit sign!yellow like the grass!Orange like my fa-ther's foot medicine!GREEN LIKE MY FEET!Speaking of the color green,my feet are green,Due to the green plague!What makes the color green?MOOOOOORE PLAGUEING than the co-olor blue!...um uh....I lost my train of thougt!I lost it where did it goooooo?...where'd it go?Amoeba!There it is!HAHAhaha!Where was I?Ah,yes!Old man Rambles!All right,so don't you hate it,like,when you're asking someone to tell you a story...So they tell you the story!But they
start the story and then they like........going to the door....uh right?Why are you asking meeee?I don't know!And you're the one.....telling the stooooooory around here!I'm not the one telling the story....then why did you say me after the thing you wanted to TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!-IT- MAKES ME FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR STOOOOOOORYYYY!I hate it cuz I'm being sidetracked from my original story, myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy breakfast!35 bran flake!36 bran flake!37 BRAAAN FLAKE!38 BRAN FLAKE!the....th..th-FOOURTY BRAN FLAKE!41 bran flake!by this time I was almost done!But I wasn't hungry any more!So I just decided to go back to bed!I HAD TO CLIMB UP THE STAAAAIRS!One stair!Two stair!I stopped and remembered that I forgot,the cereal I was going to eat.So I went back the two stairs.
ONE STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!TWOOOOOOooooo staaaair!And I grabbed all the cereal!Then I hopped up the stairs like a giddy school boy in the middle of July!and then I was up the staaairs!after only 15 minutes....on the record for me!Let me just go through the events in CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER without missing a single detail!I went up the first step like a happy man!I went up the second step...STIILL GOING STRONG!I went up the 3rd step feeling a little tired by this time!Climbing the 4th step was like climbing Mt everest on the back of a fat camel it was so hard!By the 5th step I was nearly dead!I was so tired,I couldn't make it to the sixth step,without the help of my cereal,wich I ate for NRG.I came into a repeating pattern of walking up 3 steps,then taking a bite of cereal,and walking up 3 more.I repeated this pattern in the same fashion until I got to the top of the stairs!I believe I did four revolutions of the pattern.Until I got to the top because I also had.....a little bit of cereal left.SO I ATE THE CEREAL,in threeeeeeeeeeeee bites.I'm a lean,healthy man,so I deciiided...to eat low fat cereal.That's when I remembered that the cereal I got.....was bran flakes It was not low fat.Bran flakes are fattening,and fuuuuuuuul of butter!So I fell down the stairs,and I got the low fat cereal,SPECIAL K!!!!!!!!!!!!Special K's low fat,right?Yeah...I read the nutrition facts,just to make sure it was low fat.
-3 grams of salt,Special K cereal mix.............HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP OH DANG IT I read!That's not good!High fructose corn syrup from released by the vacuum,is a dangerously man won't drink it level!So I saw another food I had in store although I had already eaten,the fattening cereal.I can't remember what happened next because I think I tripped and had unconciousness.But what I came to,I was in my bed all ready for the day.I think I had forgotten all about the adventure with the breakfast!So I got up thinking that I hadn't eaten!I went down the stairs,two steps at a time.Each step,was a-
WELL THAT TOOK CARE OF THAT!
HEY MISTER!I'm DYING HERE!HELP ME!SOMEBODY HELP ME!PLEEEEASE!I THINK....I'LL JUST COUNT....UNTIL SOMEONE.....HELPS ME!ONE!TWO!THREE!
I'M NOT DEAD YET
OKAY NOW I THINK I REALLY AM DEAD!BUT YAMIGHTWANNASHOOTANOTHERONEJUSTTOMAKE S URE!
OKAY NOW I'M DEAD FOR SURE!
wait,how am I still talking if I'm dead?Oh,THAT'S RIGHT!THIS IS NEWGROUNDS!SO PYROSTHESTICKMAN COULDN'T USE ANY SOUNDS,and the poor gun text.....was nothing more than text!There's no reason......to blam.....or remove the newspost...or reappend it,or any of that stuff that usually happens when PyrosTheStickman releases content onto the internet.SO,I THINK I'LL JUST GO *GUNSHOT**GUNCOCK*
GOODBYE,EVERYONE!AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STUCK AROUND TILL THE END,YOU DESERVE A PRIZE!SO HERE IT is!<off key>never gonna GIVE YOU UP,never gonna let yoooou dooown!never gonna ruuuuuuuuuuun around and de ZERT YOU!</off key>HA!HA!You got rickrolled!rickrolled!<off key> never gonna make you cry!never gonna say good bye!Never gonna run around and seZert youuuuuu!EIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOU!GIVE YOU UP!*COUGH COUGH COUGH.......*
</autotuned old man rambles:D>
I would be too if I was working with that guy.
You remember Autotuned Old Man Rambles,right(mai other huge comment)well,here's part 2!!!
AOMRambler:Hey people!SCRATCH!!!!!!And welcome back to.....Autotuned Old Man Rambles....Part,3!!!!!Or waitwait or was it 2???Well I don't know because I have bad memory and I can't remember stuff very well.BECAUSE I HAVE BAD MEMORY.BEFORE WE...wait wa what's tha-AAAAAAAAAUGHAUGEEEEEE-DARRRRRRRRR R RGH*ASP**GASP GASP GASP*BARF*I was just passing a kidney stone!WOW!Look at the size of that thing!Now I'll store it in my collection!Wich reminds me,It's time for Autotuned Old Man Rambles.....Part....tw0000!(strange music plays,and several echo lines play including "so then I said,'cheerios don't..'","look at all that peanut butter","what I said was on tuesday)AND THEN,TO THIS DAY,I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND MY REFRIGERATOR!!!!!!Well,hot diggity torncall,AN INTRO!!!!That's the first time I've been introduced to ANYTHING!Except that time my pet walrus Jamie introduced me to this thing called the internet!Wich is apparently this magical realm where people waste their time looking at pictures of cats!They also spend hours of their lives recording and editing incoherent rambles and speeches,and whatnot.They aren't even funny!But what do I know,that's just what I've been told by Jamie!Well,that sure was strange!My voice just (phone ringing)Well now I'm getting a call from my mobile cellular telephonic device!!!Let me see who it iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!*picks it up*HOW GOES IT,STRANGER?
Kent:hey dad,it's Kent.
AOMRambler:Who are you and how did you get into my microwaiiiiive?!
Kent:Dad,we've already gone over this.A microwave is too small for a human to sit inside.I am NOT in your microwave.
AOMRambler:TELL ME WHO YOU AAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrre!!!!!!
Kent:It's me,your SON!?!!
AOMRambler:Well the name doesn't blow a whistle!
Kent:Dude,how could you not know me?I'm your son!
AOMRambler:So how many lbs of butter did it take?
Kent:OKAY,HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY DERIVE WHAT I SAID INTO A STATEMENT THAT WOULD REQUIRE THAT FOLLOW UP QUESTION?
AOMRambler:Who is this?*phone does the beep that happens when the other person hangs up*HAPPAGA,WHADDAYA DOIN'?You can't just cuss me out like that!Quit running your mouth off like it's nobody's buisness!!!!Boy if I were a kid in your position,I'd wash my mouth out with chocolate,which in my time was called VANILLA!!!*puts phone down*WHAT A NICE YOUNG LADY!But I wonder what she was talking about!But I can't understand any of this new electromonosolic material,why,back when I was a boy,the radio only had 2 channels,ON and CBS.Everybody loooooooooved CBS!And if you wanted to turn it off,you'd have to SMASH the radio on the ground until it was destroyed!And then you'd have to be stuck without a radio until you bought one at the dollar tree!Wich,back then,was called the $20 tree!!!Because everything was priced at $48.19.3333 cents!Of course,back then,there were only SEVEN days of the week!Except on thursdays!Good ol' thursdays!Just another maaaaaaaaaaagic!....................w e dnesdAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!So anyway,it was a rainy wednesday night,wich was an odd occurence as it was unusual for it to rain on a Friday!BUT ANYHOO,On Sunday Night in question,I had just bought a new radio!I was just about to tune into Monday Night football when I heard a yell from my mother,coming from the kitchen!She sure is a nice young lady,And she's currently over 200 years old.........she's dead.............SO LET'S SEE!WHERE WAS I?Oh,that's right!So halfway through it all,it just stopped working!then I had to cut it up and everything!Oh,that's the wrong story,hahaha!!!!!!Silly old me!Now I have to remember where I was in the previous story!Let's take this moment to give a shout-out to our sponsors!Gusher permanent aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!OOOOOOOOld Spice deoderaaaaaaaaant!Special K ceeeeeeeereal bars!!!!!!!!!!!!Corn nuts!Gushers Fruit flavored snacks!feel the gush!Kodak Cameras!K-mart Supermarket!3o Americano High School!WHEAT THINS multi-grain crackerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!Cinnamon Toast Crunch.............The taste you can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................An d here.....WaWa's breakfast Hogies.............and finally........FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS..........pepsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i iiiiiiiiiiiiiii........is my favorite drink......wich brings me back to my previous story,about my mother.........on a Tuesday night..........she told me that I had to come and make her.....a casserole,wich she made every Saturday.The recipe calls for one........no,2 sticks of butter.Sadly,this was before butter was invented!So the casserole tasted like Sh*cue bleep sound*Hey,the phone's making that busy signal again!I must've accidently stepped on the Talk button!By the way, the casserole tasted like sh33p!Speaking of phones,don't you hate it when that operator voice comes on it's like <Voice face=operator voice>I'm sorry but</voice vace>WHOA!Is that really how my breath smells?Wow,I sure need a Tic Tac!hey,there's one right here on my shower robe!Time to eat it!(pick up kidney stone,swallow it without biting it)............That was the kidney stone!eeeewwww,I don't feel so good!UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH!*fall all over the floor*OH NO!I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!!!!Good thing I bought this Life AlertTM!*button press*HELLOOOOOOOOOO!LifeAlertTM serviceeeeeeeeeeeees!
Kent:This is life alert services how may I help you?
AOMrambler:I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!I've always wanted to say that!
Kent:Dad is that yo-*snap*
AOMRambler:Kenneth,you're working for LifeAlert services?
Kent:That's what I've been trying to tell you on the phone!
AOMrambler:CAN YOU HELP ME FIND MY REFRIGERATOR?
Kent:you ate another kidney stone didn't you?
AOMRambler:Define "8,youuuuuuuu,and didinnnnnnnnnnnnnt!"!
Kent:Look Dad,I'll help you if you promise to acknowledge you know who I am!
AOMRambler:..............get out of my microwave.